


You're Useless

by NotSoHotsuin



Category: Shin Megami Tensei: Devil Survivor 2
Genre: Angst, Best Friends, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Heartbreak, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, The words best friend are said a lot, based on fate events between daichi and hibiki, can you believe some of this is canon dialogue, implied endings- very vague, implied yamato and daichi end, some vague terms past day 4
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-25
Updated: 2017-06-25
Packaged: 2018-11-18 21:19:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11299053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NotSoHotsuin/pseuds/NotSoHotsuin
Summary: The worst part was not being defeated, it was seeing Hibiki’s disapproving glare pierce into him like knives; a feeling more painful than any battle he had endured thus far.





	You're Useless

Tokyo lost.

 

It was bound to happen when Daichi heard Hibiki sided with Yamato. He hated it, was off ranting to Io about how they had to bring him back. She calmly explained that Hibiki was free to choose whatever faction he wanted, and Daichi wished she could just take his side for once without having to point out the obvious. He knew he said he could make whatever choice he wanted, but he always thought Hibiki would side with him. Not because he had a better plan than Yamato, but because 10 years of friendship could not be wrong.   
  
This just didn’t sound like the Hibiki he knew.

The worst part was not being defeated, it was seeing Hibiki’s disapproving glare pierce into him like knives; a feeling more painful than any battle he had endured thus far. Hibiki checked up on him after the battle was resolved, and Daichi assumed he was there to recruit him. While he was nervous, he was not unwilling.

“Man… I never thought you’d join up with Yamato and his team. I’m your best friend and I didn’t see that one coming.” Hibiki looked uninterested in what he had to say. He almost swore Hibiki sounded amused by his statement.

“Really?”

“I’m sure you’ll be fine no matter how the world turns out, but what about me?” He laughed, trying to ease the tension in the air. “Don’t you see how I’m kinda screwed right now?” It was so jarring not seeing Hibiki offer him a single smile. He chucked it down to be that his joke just didn’t sit right.

“Yeah, you’re screwed.” Was that supposed to be a joke? It felt too cruel, even taking Hibiki’s dark sense of humor into account. He forced a laugh anyways, trying not to take it to heart.

“Hahaha… Man, I know I brought it up, but… damn, that’s tough to hear straight from you.” He hoped Hibiki would smile, would say he was joking. As they stood now, the distance between them only seemed to grow. It was unnatural for him to take a step back every time Hibiki looked as if he would step closer. This feeling was something akin to fear, and he was hopelessly trying to figure out why he was afraid of his best friend. There was a different look in those blue eyes, they looked misty, void of shine or luster.

“In a world like Yamato wants, I’d be the first guy to go down! If he got his way… I feel like we wouldn't be equals anymore.” Saying it out loud actually helped put things into perspective.

“Haha... maybe that's why I'm afraid. I'm actually happy you consider me your best friend.” Something dawned on him, something that he probably should have considered sooner. “Oh, um... now that I'm saying it out loud, the one saying it all the time was... me. Do you...even think of me as your best friend?" Hibiki was unresponsive. Either he was ignoring the question, or did not feel like answering it. The lack of a response told Daichi his answer could not have been positive. It hurt more than he thought it would to know Hibiki did not feel the same way, but he almost wanted to say he understood where Hibiki was coming from- that he had a valid reason not to think of them as best friends.

 

_I haven’t been that good of a friend, have I?_

_I want to say I have but… when am I usually right about anything?_

 

"If I can't have you as my best friend,” He stopped himself, and resisted the urge to be honest about his true feelings. “... it's just not a world I'd like to live in. Maybe it's never been a world I've lived in.” He choked on his words, but recovered quickly and forced a laugh. Another forced smile, another attempt at smoothing things over. Hibiki shrugged, unimpressed, stoic, cold- a posture similar to Yamato’s. It really did not suit him.  
  
“You’re taking this so well that it’s freaking me out. The more I think about it, the worse I seem in comparison to everybody else… maybe I am useless after all, as embarrassing as that is to admit...” The reply he got was not one he expected. Not from Hibiki. Anyone but Hibiki.

  
“You’re right.” He froze in place, almost as if time had stopped. The chilling stare Hibiki offered him only twisted the knife of guilt that was already lodged in his chest. He could not look away, could not tear his eyes off Hibiki. It was as he was looking for some solace, for some shred of empathy that he knew only Hibiki could offer him. Instead, Hibiki tore the words right out of his mouth and left him speechless. He tried to speak, but there was no sound, all it did was make his lips quiver. When he finally gathered his thoughts, he could only get out one word. Just barely, voice weak and airy.

“W-what?”  
  
“You’re right. You’re completely useless.” _No. No, no, no, no._

It could not be true. The Hibiki he knew was always there for him, always had his back, and never tried to put him down. The Hibiki he knew kept his secrets, joked with him, laughed with him, went out on giant shopping sprees with him, and was planning a road-trip with him to travel through Japan before all this happened.   
  
Different memories started to emerge, memories he did not recall ever living through.

Why was he remembering Hibiki telling him he was annoying, straight after they rescued him and Jungo? It sounded as if Hibiki shrugged off his concerns back then. Why did he remember being told to be quiet when he was just asking a question? Where were all these different, conflicting memories coming from? None of them felt true, but all of them were said by Hibiki, word for word. Each time he recalled him saying those nasty things, those hurtful remarks, he felt as if he was admiring a completely different person than the one that stood before him. Was Hibiki’s kind persona just an ideal he made up for himself to believe? So he could have one friend to rely on when no one else either did not seem to care for him, or treated him worse?

  
“Tell me about it, right? Hahaha… I guess it doesn’t really matter what I think, in the end.” He rushed his reply, feeling the urge to just leave the scene. Actually, that was not such a bad idea. What was stopping him from just up and leaving if Hibiki did not desire his company. “Well, I’m gonna go... I’ll be cheering for you from the sidelines though, so… good luck, man.” He smiled, and hoped Hibiki did not notice his expression fall just before he turned his back on him and walked away.   
  
_I’m sorry if I’ve done nothing but cause you trouble._   
  
_I’m sorry if I kept pushing my friendship on you._   
  
_Really, it’s okay, I get it-_   
  
_Why would you want to be friends with me?_  


* * *

 

“Daichi, again?” It had been weeks since the earth was restored, and he was still having these hellish nightmares whenever he dozed off. According to Hibiki, he had really only dozed off for two minutes. It felt like an eternity. Doing homework in Hibiki’s bed of all places played a part in his drowsiness. He knew he should not have lied down and closed his eyes. It was as if he was inviting sleep to whisk him away. He pulled himself up, still groggy and torn. 

“Why do I keep having this dream?...” Changing the subject from homework to dream felt easier than actually doing his homework. It was so strange to know that they saved the world, but still had to do complicated math. Perhaps the more hilarious fact was realizing that all that math did near to nothing when they actually had to try and survive.

“The one where we failed to restore the world?”

“Um, yeah, that one…” Daichi was too embarrassed to mention the details, too scared of what it would make Hibiki think of him. What scared him most was finding out the answer to the question he asked during his dream.

“Hey, Hibiki, didn’t Fumi say that information is stored in the Akashic records?”

“Yeah, she did. Why?”

“I’m just wondering if I’m… remembering a different reality.”

“Even if you are, it doesn’t make it our reality.”

“That’s true but…” It was hard to imagine a reality where Hibiki felt that way about him- that Daichi had somehow made Hibiki feel that way about him. It could of course just be a bad dream, but they were so frequent and persistent that he felt the universe was trying to convey a message.

“Did something happen?”

“N-no. No, no, no, no,” That was too many no’s. “-nothing at all! Nu-uh. All well and good.” His pitch spiked unintentionally, and he ended up speaking in a tone that was clearly going to make him look suspicious.

“You can tell me anything, Daichi,” That really brought back some good memories, and helped him open up more. This felt right. Peaceful.

 

“...We weren’t good friends.” He was murmuring, trying to avoid bringing it up, but Hibiki could hear him clear enough. “We… just… didn’t click like we actually do. Nothing major or anything,” Playing it down was the only way to not make it sound weird.

“Are you worried that we’re going to change?” Daichi bit into the corner of his lip to stop himself from keeping the conversation going. He knew that it was not possible, but the dream felt so vivid, almost as if he was living within an old memory. Hibiki leaned closer and wrapped one arm around him to let his head rest on Daichi’s shoulder.

“Did I ever tell you that you’re like, my best friend,” Hibiki grinned, feeling the need to mimic Daichi’s pitch as he remembered him saying it. “-in the whole wide world?” Geez, it sounded even cornier in Hibiki’s voice. It still made him ridiculously happy.

“Well, if you say so,” He smiled and closed his eyes, leaning his head against Hibiki’s. “-then it must be true.” Their fingers were laced together, softly taking comfort in their normal day-to-day life. It was funny how a lifestyle so mundane could be so relaxing and fulfilling after spending a week being tormented by demons and Gods.

“Daichi,” Hibiki’s fingers curled around Daichi’s palm, holding him tighter. “I wouldn’t want a world without you,” This reply was less humorous, more sincere and compassionate. Hibiki nuzzled close, his fingers softly caressing Daichi’s hip. The warmth felt familiar, caring, and special. When Hibiki removed his hold on Daichi’s hand to cup his cheek, Daichi felt as if his entire face was on fire. It took him a second to get accustomed to the touch, before letting his hands rest at Hibiki’s waist. This comfort and warmth was never going to change between them- this feeling of belonging.

 

_Thanks._

 

_Thanks for everything._

 

_You really are my best friend._


End file.
